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Young Writers Society



Forbidden Violets Ch. 1 Part 3

by Angel of Death


Forbidden Violets

By Angel of Death

Chapter 1-Part 3-The Chosen

I rolled my eyes and retreated to my bathroom. As I expected, he followed, becoming a statue against the door. To keep from looking at him, I busied myself by brushing my teeth. If I looked in the mirror, I could see tiny glimpses of him staring at me or off into space. Either way it made me uncomfortable.

I spit the toothpaste into the sink and then turned the water on. The blue paste went down the drain, along with the cold stream spilling from the faucet. Luckily, my face cream was by the soap dish so I didn't have to look up. I spread the cool lotion around my face and then lowered myself so that the water could hit my face. As I was washing my face, I felt something touch the back of my neck. It was Alexandru's warm lips and each time he kissed me it burned. By now I've learned if I refused, it would only get worse, so I let him have his way. To keep from getting mad, I focused on the sound of water sliding down the drain.

"Is this so bad?" he breathed against the space beneath my ear.

The truth was that it wasn't bad but it was wrong. Love was something that you cherished and not some emotion you messed around with. I finished washing my face and then I straightened my body to look at myself in the mirror. He was still there, obviously waiting for me to answer not just his recent question but the other one as well.

"I'm not going to lie to you Alexandru, but I do not love you,' I said, staring at him through the looking-glass.

He nodded thoughtfully and then left. Unlike Rosa, he departed loudly, almost slamming the door shut. I sighed. This was relationship was going to harder on me now that Alexandru knew that I could never love him. In his eyes, my resistance to him was another way of saying that I lusted for him with a deep passion. I turned the water off and walked back in my room. A cool wind was floating through my room, curling the ends of my hair. Something told me that I should have been scared but it was only Daniel.

He was standing by my bookcase, perusing through a shelve of books. When he finished looking, he looked up at me and smiled. In his hands was a box and it was tied neatly with a red bow.

"Hey Corina," Daniel said, coming towards me.

"Hi," I replied.

"So, Alexandru is here?" he asked, holding the box out to me.

I sighed and took the box from Daniel.

"Yeah, unfortuneatly," I replied, rolling my eyes.

Daniel sat on the edge of my bed, his angel's face holding a horrid expression. I couldn't understand what was wrong until he looked up at me.

"Did he do anything to you?" he asked, cracking his knuckled.

I shook my head no and sat beside him. The box was light in my hands. My curiosity was getting the best of me but I could tell Daniel probably wanted to know what else had me on edge.

"We made our feelings about each other clear and from the way the conversation ended I don't think Alexandru understands that I don't love him," I explained, grunting.

"Want me to do something to make him see the big picture clearly?" Daniel asked, a smile in my voice.

I looked up at him and smiled. This was a huge contrast from last night, which was good because it really wasn't nice seeing up as messed up as he was.

"So, how was your night?" I asked, pulling at the ribbon on the box.

"Well I went to go see Beth and she really is psyched about meeting you. We might be gone alll night...wait a minute. Did you tell your father that I'm stealing you for the day? He's going to be so mad if we just leave..." Daniel started, frowning.

"Don't worry about it. I'm planning to get as far away from this place as possible. Besides, he'll understand because sometimes you have to do what you want to do, right?" I interrupted, shoving him sideways.

Daniel laughed, his melodic chuckle bouncing off the walls. This was the Daniel I was used to. This was the Daniel I was going to miss. Not being able to hold back any longer, I pulled the ribbons apart and took the top off of the box. Inside was a necklace with a huge green ruby surrounded by diamonds hanging from it. The amulet shimmered in the light from the light fixture above my bed. It was beautiful. When I looked up at Daniel, I couldn't find the words to say to think him for such a wonderful gift. His face was calm but it held a hidden sense of pain and anger. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he took the necklace out of the box and held it up.

"I felt that this would be the right time to give this to you," he whispered, gesturing for me to turn around.

As I held my hair up, Daniel clasped the necklace around my neck. When I turned to look at him, he was still smiling but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him, unable to stop the rain from falling down my cheeks.

"I don't want you to leave," I breathed, burying my head in his chest.

Daniel didn't say anything, he just caressed the back of my head until some of the tears disintegrated. I heard him sigh but before I could look up at him, he tightened his arms around me, keeping me nuzzled in his chest.

"I'm sorry," he said, kissing me on the top of my head.

Confusion swept my mind, leaving me too curious to be sad. I tried to not move as Daniel almost smothered me to death. Maybe I was overreacting. It wasn't like this was the last time I would ever see him or was it?

"Corina I..." he started loosening his hold on me.

I looked into his eyes and frowned. He looked pained, even though minutes before my little breakdown he was fine. If he was going to leave to be happy, then I shouldn't make him suffer on my account.

"Beth is probably wondering where we're at," I interrupted, smiling.

Daniel smiled a soft smile and then stood. He slowly walked towards the window and I followed, letting the frosty air wash away my tears. When Daniel extended his hand out, I took it. Then, so fast that I didn't even know how, we were out the window, and into the day. Running, our legs pounding the cold, white Earth.


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Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:19 pm
Faithe wrote a review...



Corina and Daniel have an interesting relationship, that's for sure. Some of the phrases you use makes it appear as if they might have stronger feelings for each other, but I don't think that's what you mean to happen at all...aren't they more brother/sister, because of their cousin status? Just watch that you don't make them TOO close, where lines could be blurred.

It's a good story line, if cliched. This is still the first chapter, though, so you have PLENTY of time to make the piece your own. :D

I spread the cool lotion around my face and then lowered myself so that the water could hit my face. As I was washing my face,


The repetition of the word “face” is slightly annoying, and also unnecessary -- I suggest changing one of them to “skin”, or eliminating a sentence altogether.

This was relationship was going to harder on me now that Alexandru knew that I could never love him.


I’m not sure what you were trying to say here… :D

"Did he do anything to you?" he asked, cracking his knuckled.


Knuckles.

"Want me to do something to make him see the big picture clearly?" Daniel asked, a smile in my voice.


In his voice, not my.

We might be gone alll night...wait a minute.


Typo: all.

When I looked up at Daniel, I couldn't find the words to say to think him for such a wonderful gift.


Typo: thank.

Running, our legs pounding the cold, white Earth.


Should earth be capitalized? Not sure.

With that said, just fix those few mistakes and continue! I do like Alexandru's attitude -- he seems so cocky, unable to believe that Corina could actually NOT love him... :wink:





Don't be sad bc sad backwards is das and das not good
— LadyMysterio